August 22nd, 2021
Let me set this rule up with a scenario. Suppose you are hoping to reach out to a friend of a friend that you met years ago. They work at a company and you would love a referral. But you have only met them once. You build up the courage to reach out, but ultimately, they leave you on “read” because they don’t know who you are. This rule is for you. I know that the phrase “your network is your net worth” is cliche, but growing the strength of your relationships will pay dividends later down the road.
The two meet rule is fairly simple but it will serve you well. The rules boils down to this: If you want to get value from a relationship, then focus on getting a second meeting.
The initial meeting is common. You meet people in work meetings. You meet people who are friends of friends. You meet people from conferences. You are always meeting people. In 2018, I was a technology consultant and I was constantly meeting people. I would be on a client engagement for 6-12 months at a time. I would meet other software engineers, managers, and directors constantly. Now, if you don't want to grow those relationships further, then the initial meeting is completely fine.
But what if you do want to grow that relationship more? Then set up another meeting. Try to setup a zoom call a week later. Maybe a quick coffee meetup. Even just try to snag them after a large work meeting and say hello. Don’t focus on a large meetup, just the simple act of having a casual second meeting is all you need. But do schedule that meeting in a timely manner. If you wait 6 months, then you will be starting all over again.
I find that the first meeting can feel rather formal and often times, the relationship may seem inconsequential for one of the parties. But if you are able to meet twice, it will solidify a relationship. That second meeting will feel like meeting an old friend (this is how I like to treat the second meeting at least SMILEY), and years down the road, if you need to reach out to this person, then doing so will not feel nearly as awkward. You will have established that relationship.
So try it out! Try to grow some of your one-contact acquaintances that you wished you were closer with, by meeting them again!
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